I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
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