Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
