I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
