I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
