What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
