12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
