8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
