so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Randomize