Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
