Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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