Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
