...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
