If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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