I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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