He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
