i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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