she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
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