this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
