I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
