Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
