never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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