she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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