used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
