Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize