he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
