He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
