i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He better not be in your backpack
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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