He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Randomize
