A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
