Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
