My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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