JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
