you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
