life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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