My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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