Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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