Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
