people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Randomize
