In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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