3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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