you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
