I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
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