no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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