He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
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