But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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