The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
