his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
