Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
