My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
