Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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