I hope mine doesn't look like that
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Someone came in the potted fern
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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