I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
