remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
