once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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