Will you blow on my dice?
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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