No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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