haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize
