I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
